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You know who you are...
It has taken me a long while to decide whether or not I wanted to even address the constant attempts at needless attention you have attempted over the last year. I have watched you insult me, talk about me behind my back on other websites, ignore any and all attempts at peace... yet still whine and complain that I'm a horrible selfish person. Since these particular incidents took place, you have been off of my tongue and mind as far as any real negativity goes. I sent you a note at Christmas apologizing for anything I had done on my end, offering peace and well being to you and your own... and I was simply blocked as a response. I have not gone out of my way to make you look bad in this last year, not rallied a bunch of my ass-kissing followers to come to my aid and make ME feel better about something that isn't even their business. What transpired between us was unfortunate, and if I could take it all back... I would in a heart beat. You were a very important person to me and I think about you often. I fail to see how... because I legitimately had a real issue- had real life things to attend to... and was unable to lavish you in the attention you so desperate need, that I am a bad person. I have many friends now that I am exceptionally close to that understand that sometimes things come up. But instead of worrying about what I may have been going through- or at least understanding enough to give me my space... you cut me from your life because I didn't understand YOUR plight. I was always that overly opinionated person that was too selfish to look at those around me, when in reality... that's ALL I do. I put the people around me before myself. Always. If I needed a small bit of time to myself to sort life out... I don't think that was too much to ask from a supposed best friend. That's all under the bridge, though. I don't care what happened at this point. You wont see anything beyond this useless grudge that I, personally, want no part of. I have nothing against you, and I likely never will... but after a year you still cannot get over what happened and move on. I think you need to rethink your priorities. If I was so important to you that you still cannot stop bashing and shit talking me... then why is it so hard for you to actually try and see past the anger you feel and work things out with me? I wont surround myself with angry people, however. So until you get rid of this needless anger, things will never change.
You know who you are...
I don't have much to say to you... other than the way I feel about you is much the way I portrayed above. I miss you, I sincerely wish you could see that just because you don't agree with what makes me happy doesn't make it right to abandon a supposed friend. I am happy... I love my life- and that wasn't good enough for you. Why? Because you were jealous I didn't gain that happiness from you? I know you were jealous of my girlfriend... you stated it many times before. But, like the person above you- you cannot work through your grudge and just love me for who I am and what makes me happy. I would have never... ever stuck my nose into your life so abruptly. I would have never ever shoved you to the side because of the choices you make in your life. I couldn't. I love too much and too hard.. and you were no exception to that. I think about you often... I reminisce and wish things could be the way they were when we were all just friends; and that is what tears me apart. I too sent you a message on Christmas to apologize and try and make amends, but it fell on deaf ears. I have lost my will to try with you two. It has done nothing by cause me heartache in the end.
You know who you are...
You call me immature? Why? Because I actually called you out on who you really are? You come into a chatroom full of people who adore and live for their dogs... spewing useless bullshit excuses as to why some people fight dogs and you honestly didn't expect to get chewed out? There are NO excuses to brutally murder an INNOCENT dog. Period. It's clear to me, and everyone else in Mafia Dogs... that you have a serious problem with authority. It's funny how I'm considered a 'power player' when I do, in fact, play the bossdog of a pack. Kach, Mer, Tally? They're some how not lumped into this category. Why? Because you have a problem with me. You always have. But rest assured- it wasn't just ME that wanted you gone. I had been pushed for a long while to ban you by many people within the chat. Mainly for your original temper tantrum after Tally left. As Kach said... we're fair. Not always nice. We are there to make sure the rules are followed. We are there to run and make sure the chat and group is functioning properly. We are not there to kiss ass, let things slide because you're a 'friend'... and let the group fall to hell at the hands of a bunch of idiots. The very few people that have been removed from Mafia dogs seem to be the very small minority of people that conveniently have a problem with it, and the way it's run. It's time to pull up your big girl panties and realize you fucked up. Not once, not twice... not even three times. Countless times, at that. I had to beg the rest of the mods, and chat members to even give you back your RP character after you raegquitted during a role-play and removed him. Who was responsible for his return? ME. As it stands... no one cares you're gone. You did nothing but cause drama. Last night's little incident was the straw that broke the camels back. You were voted out by members of the group- because they are functioning human beings that are able to make their own decisions. You want someone to blame? Blame yourself.
You know who you are...
I read your note and I am still trying to figure out how to respond. You not only hurt me... but you hurt a lot of members of that group with your comment about how the role-play they take pride in, the stories that they have created... are going down the crapper. It seems you made a call out journal to do nothing other than make me, and Mer.. look bad. You upset her probably most of all. I never.. had a problem with you. You were always a joy to be around.. and then something changed. You are not the person we all met almost a year ago. You're always down and way more distant. You complain about artwork rather than enjoy it... but isn't that the reason you're on DA? We all have our demons, sure. And I can understand those problems... but you never gave me the chance. When your friend was politely given a request to fix an issue... instead of coming to me or Kach calmly, you road in on your white stallion and made yourself look like a complete ass. I can understand and respect defending a friend... but it was not a huge deal. She chose to leave because simply working on her attitude was too hard. And you were right... even after we talked it out- things were never the same. You were never suppose to be permanently banned from MD. But Kach was waiting for a sincere and heartfelt apology for the way you treated her, and it never came. Do I want to work this out with you? Yes. of course I do. The issue isn't about... whether I can forgive you or make things right... it's whether or not I want to put myself in that vulnerable position again. A fear biting dog... is still very difficult to trust. I don't like being bitten by my friends and it does take a bit to gain that trust back. If you are willing to try? I'll be willing to listen. But the things you said to me last night? They hurt. A lot. Mainly because I had never thought such ill things of you- and I thought we were still friends because that was the message you portrayed. As it stands... I am willing to try but only after I know you're really sorry.
You know who you are...
I just want you to know how much you mean to me. You have been there almost longer than anyone else, and yet... despite the problems we've had in the past, we're still friends. It takes a level of tolerance and understanding for people to be friends as long as we have, and even though we don't always see eye to eye and sometimes we're both needlessly paranoid, we work out well. You were, and still are, one of the few people that is as weird and fucked up as me. We have always had the same interests and it's been an amazing ten + years. Here's to another ten. I love you like a sister. <3
You know who you are...
You have been the most amazing... person to me over this last three years. I don't know if I could have made it without you. You're the most understanding, caring, affectionate and giving person I know. I am so lucky to have you by my side every single day to hold me, rub my back when it hurts, and tell me how much I mean to you. That was a luxury I never got to experience until you... and I am sorry if I don't always know how to express myself. Sometimes.. words just don't cut it- and this is one of those times. I love you, so so much... and I don't know what I would do if you weren't in my life. Thank you for being that amazing person I always needed to make my life complete. <3
You guys know who you are...
I know we haven't know each other long...and I know there is this annoying flat-screened barrier keeping us from ever actually hugging, or smacking each other in the face- but to me? That's just a technicality. You guys are my best friends and I love you all more than I can even express. The days we play on SL are the days I wake up to, and look forward to. The days we can all just sit there and talk about our interests, our pasts, or just have a huge social-art fest are what make this life's hardships worth it. I have had so much unrelenting support from you guys... even after me and Kach were left to man the MD group alone, you were all there to help and make it better and easier. You guys are appreciated every single day... so don't ever let anyone tell you differently. You're beautiful, talented people... and I only wish and hope that someday we can eliminate this damn barrier. You guys are my wonderful dysfunctional family... because you don't need to be blood to be considered family. I love you all so much- and thank you for being there for me! I will continue to be there for you as long as you need me. <3
